What does it mean when you say you care for someone?

When you are for someone, your duty is to ‘To protect someone or something and provide the things they need, especially someone who is vulnerable.’

When you are for someone, your duty is to ‘To protect someone or something and provide the things they need, especially someone who is vulnerable.’ If you read our last post, you will have read our definition of a vulnerable adult and what that means to us at Bluebird Care.

When caring for someone you could do anything and more for the list below:

• Give emotional support.
• Help someone cope with or seek help for a mental health problem.
• Cook and/or clean.
• Provide personal care like washing and going to the toilet.
• Assist to manage budgeting and looking after finances.
• Support them to live alongside other people in your household.
• Help others understand the needs of the person you are caring for.
• Give medicine or providing medical care.
• Check they are safe.
• Go to appointments with them and advocating on their behalf – this means helping them express their views and wishes.

This does not have to paid work as there are so many unpaid carers out there.

Being someone's carer may only describe part of your relationship with them. You could be their parent, partner, sibling, child, grandchild, friend or other relative. This relationship can be just as, or more, important to you. You may also have other caring roles, for example taking care of your children.

Sometimes the person you care for may find it difficult to accept they need support from you. They may push you away or say things that upset you. This can make things feel extra hard. When this happens, you must allow this person the respect to make their own decisions (if they have capacity to do so) allow them time to process that they may need some care and/or support.

For ourselves at Bluebird Care we provide all aspects of care for someone in their own home. This could be as simple as a cup of tea and a welfare check, meal preparation, personal care. All the way to complex care involving our registered nurse’s input and specialised training for our Care Assistants. We also offer live in care – this is when someone lives in the property with the person who requires care. They can assist with all their needs e.g. cooking, cleaning, personal care, companionship and even there in case something happens in the night.  

Your mental health as a carer

It can help to understand common challenges that many unpaid carers encounter, as this might make you feel less alone. We explain some feelings you might experience while caring for someone, and how these can impact your mental health.

It can be a very positive and rewarding experience caring for someone, knowing that you are helping others.

Its very common that carers feel they have learnt more about their own strengths, or feel they have helped other understand their condition, problem or disability better. They often feel a sense of satisfaction from making a ‘real’ difference to the life of the person they care for.

Through this experience of caring for someone, carers have said they feel :

• More confident in dealing with other people.
• More understanding of others with problems.
• Closer to friends and/or family.

Although there are many positive to caring for others some carers do find that this can effect their mental health and make it harder for them to stay well. Through they may truly want to care for others, they may find is difficult and upsetting at times.

When caring for others, carers have said they have felt:

• Stress and worry – from spending a lot of time thinking about someone else’s health and what may happen to them in the future, and find it hard to ‘switch off’. Over a long time, worry and stress can cause mental health problems. It can also aggravate existing problems.
• Anxiety – many carers say they have feel constant anxiety about the person they care for. These feelings can be strong and last for a long time and as a result can become overwhelming. They may impact the ability of the carer to live their lives a fully as they want to.
• Isolation and loneliness – carers have expressed that they feel they have less time to socialise or pursue hobbies and interests. Some have given up work to care for others and as a result may not see a lot of the people they used to and as a result they may have feelings of isolation and loneliness. They may find it hard to express this to others as they may feel that people who are not in their situation may not understand. Overtime this may lead to mental health problems like depression.
• Less time for yourself – many carers find that they do have less time to look after themselves. This could be: to be physically healthy, to eat healthy foods or time for relaxation. Often carers put their own health on the back burner and put the person they care for needs before them, meaning that they feel they don’t have time to get the help they need.
• Money worries – some carers may have to top up the care they can offer to the person in need, pay out for medical treatments/equipment or travel costs. This can put strain on peoples finances, especially if they are not getting enough financial support or benefits. They may have to cut down on work, or juggle work and caring, which can be difficult.
• Lack of sleep – often carers who support people at night – or if they are stressed and/or worried. They may not get much sleep as they need. Not getting enough sleep can impact your mental health.
• Guilt, frustration and anger -  sometimes carers may get frustrated, they can feel they have given up parts of their own lives, or feel they have no choice about the situation. They may end up directing this frustration/anger towards family or the person that they care for, as a result this may make them feel guilty.
• Low self-esteem – when looking after someone else, this can have a huge impact of your self-esteem. You may feel that you should focus all your time on them, as a result you may lose confidence in yourself and your abilities to do anything else except supporting someone else. If you’ve given up work, you may feel you have lost an important part of yourself.
• Depression – some carers find the challenges they face when looking after someone else can make them feel low or depressed. They may develop unhelpful coping strategies to deal with the difficult feeling. Some of the unhelpful strategies may be: using drugs or alcohol and/or eating more or less then they need to. If they fell very frustrated or hopeless, they may have thoughts of harming themselves or ending their lives.

If you are any of the above, it is always advisable to speak to someone. It is incredibly important to manage your own well-being whilst caring for someone else. Always get information and tips on how to look after your mental health.

 At Bluebird Care we have a wellbeing officer. A member of staff who has completed a counselling qualification and is on hand to support our care assistants office staff and customers, through this and many other things too.